It's Not My Fault
by KingdomJester
Summary: Kendall is bullied because of the murders his biological dad committed. Kendall goes from being the most popular kid, to the most hated over something that wasn't his fault. But they won't listen to him. After getting beat up and having the school do nothing about it, he starts to weigh his options for a better life. But they aren't all the right options.
1. It's Not My Fault

**Okay, if you recognize this story as being Ireland Maslow, it kinda is. I'm Luke though, and I worked with her to write this story, I have permission to post it to my page also. If you don't believe me, ask her and she'll tell you. This is my actual life story. Everything that happens to Kendall in this story happened to me in my real life. People, please remember that even small comments can affect people in ways you know nothing about. Bullying or teasing is NOT okay! My life was drastically changed and turned around because of bullying. I was in a really dark place for awhile and I thought of ending it all. But I have an amazing mother, an extraodinary little sister and an incredible best friend, Ireland Maslow. Ireland and I became friends right before everything in this story happened and even at 4 AM when I needed a friend, she was there. I could talk to her about everything and she understood, even the suicidal thoughts. She never told me to just get over it, which doesn't help suicidal people by the way, she talked me through it and let me tell her everything I felt and thought. THAT was what kept me here. **

**Thank you so much to all those who supported me even though you guys didn't know me. It was amazing to know I had complete strangers on my side. God bless you all. **

**I don't own any of the BTR characters. This is my life story, but I didn't write any of this. I told Ireland what happened detail by detail and she wrote it out into story form. She sent me each section to look over and see if she needed to change anything, so credit for the writing goes to her. **

**Kendall's POV:**

I walked into the classroom and went straight to my desk. I sunk down in my seat and stared at the desk. I heard the whispers and snickering from around me. It was the first day of school and I already knew this year was going to be one of the worst. I went from being one of the most popular kids, to being the most bullied kid in one single summer. I hated it! I had always been the one that everyone loved for no reason really. I never realized how much I actually enjoyed everyone knowing my name and everyone being my friend until I lost it all.

I used to be the captain of the hockey team, but now, I don't even play hockey. The coach wants me back, but I can't deal with the torture I get from the other guys. I wasn't surprised that the only friends I had left had started to avoid me a little too. Especially today, they all pretended to be too busy. I knew they were pretending because they were never this busy on the first day of school before. Well, Maybe Logan, when it came to school, he loved it and anything not school related during school hours was forgotten. Carlos and James though, don't have much of an excuse. They are like me, do what they have to do to get by and get good grades. We always had time for each other though.

They had gotten a bit distant over the summer, but they were still around at least. I guess that's good enough. I felt something hit me and land on the desk. I looked at the wadded up piece of paper and then around the room. I saw a guy named Shane looking at me and chuckling. He raised his eyebrows, silently telling me to open it. I unwadded the ball and read the few words.

**I know a few people I would like to get rid of. When does your dad get out again?**

I looked back at him and he was laughing with his friends. I wadded the paper up again and threw it angerily across the room. The whole reason this started was because word got out that my dad is in prison for life for murder. When I was a baby, I was given up for adoption by my parents. I was adopted at age four, I'm not sure what happened, but shortly after, I was given back. The family decided they wanted someone better I guess. Then, when I was six, I was adopted again. This time for real.

I love my mom, but not so much my dad. He has never seemed to care too much about me. He wasn't abusive, he just wasn't nice. This was the family I was still with. They had a baby that was born a couple months after I was adopted. My mom was told she couldn't get pregnant, so they turned to adoption. But she then ended up pregnant with my little sister Katie. I was happy they still adopted me though. My mom and dad divorced when I was eight and Katie was two. We don't see our dad much anymore.

But then, there's my biological parents. As I got older, I wondered about them. I wanted to know who they were, so my mom started helping me locate them. We started when I was thirteen and I finally managed to locate a part of my real family when I was sixteen. That was back in January. I had found a program that would help me locate my parents. But the person I actually located was my aunt. She told me she had a few things she needed to talk to me about and then she flew out here to Minnesota the weekend after I talked to her on the phone. She came and told me everything I needed to know about my birth parents.

I learned that my mom is in the hospital dying from cancer. I was so upset after learning that. I asked her and my mom if I could go see her. They both agreed and my aunt made arrangements for me to come back with her when she went home to Kentucky. Then, she told me about my real dad. Apparently for the last year and a half, my dad had been in prison. My parents had a two year old son named Joey. My dad drowned him in the bathtub at their house. My mom had come home and found Joey dead in the bathtub that still was full of water.

Dad was drunk and watching TV. He tried to say he didn't know Joey was in there, but it was obvious what happened. Joey was still in his day clothes and he didn't know how to work the bathtub, so there was no way he filled the tub himself and then drowned. Besides, he was two, even two years old know how not to drown in a bathtub. My dad had said he hit his head and drowned, but they proved that to be a lie. My mom filed for divorce at the same time that my dad was going through court. Oh, and they discovered that my dad had raped and killed a seventeen year old girl just a few months before killing my brother. Her body had been buried behind the barn on their property. It was discovered when the police requested premission to search the property. I was completely surprised to learn all this.

Now, how everyone found out was through a person I thought I could trust. His name was Eli. I had known Eli the same length of time I knew Logan, Carlos and James. He had become a good friend of our's. I told the guys and Eli what my aunt told me. Logan, Carlos and James kept their mouths shut like they promised. Then in April Eli became friends with Shane and his friends. He turned his back on the guys and I and he told Shane about my real dad. Now everyone knows. They are all terrible to me because of him. If they gave me a chance to say something, they would learn that I'm just as mad about it as they are.

"Kendall? Is everything okay?" Mr. Long asked, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up at him and he was standing infront of my desk with his arms crossed and a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I asked, giving him a small smile.

"Well, I've been asking for your attention for the last few minutes." He said and I lowered my head a little.

"Sorry Sir, just some things on my mind lately." He nodded his head, a sympathetic look on his face. I wasn't surprised that he knew what happened, everyone in our town knows.

"Just, try to pay more attention, please." He said, walking away and to the front of the class. Before I knew it, the bell rang and we were heading to the hallway. I collected my things and walked out the door. I looked up and saw Carlos standing there.

"Hey, Kendall!" He said, coming up to me.

"Hey," I said, walking toward my locker, Carlos followed beside me. Logan soon joined us and then James. They began talking and I joined in the conversation. I was honestly surprised they were willing to be seen with me. Don't they realize how people will treat them for being friends with me? Then again, our lockers are all together, so maybe they were just sympathizing with me and decided to walk to our lockers with me. It wouldn't surprise me. As I was standing at my locker, getting what I needed, I was all of a sudden shoved forward. I turned around to see Shane and a couple of his friends standing there. I glared at them, stepping toward them.

"Whoa! Don't kill us! We know your dad is a murderer and we've all heard the saying 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'. How far did you fall Kendall?" Shane asked, staring at me. I was so mad right now. It was just the first day, but they had been torturing me most of the summer and I hate it. I was already tired of it and now having to see them daily was worse than all the times they caught me out or when they sent me messages on Facebook or anything else.

"Leave him alone, Shane!" James said, stepping forward. Why was he defending me?

"Whatever, don't trust him too far. You may be the next body the police uncover." Shane said before walking away.

"Don't listen to-" Logan began but I cut him off.

"I won't," I said, walking away and toward my next class. I walked inside and went to the middle of the room to take my seat. I used to like being in the center of the classroom, it made it easier to pass notes to my friends around me, but now it just means I'm easier for the jerks in school to reach and torment during class. Shane and Eli walked in and Shane hit me in the back of the head as he walked by. I wasn't sure why he did stuff like that, but he did. He would push me, hit me in the back of the head or the arm and he would trip me. Sure he never liked me, he always hated me for some reason, but he never acted on it. Not until the whole school started hating me also. Now he can do and say whatever he wants to me without worrying about what the others will say or think. He now fits in with the school since he acts just like them. I just prayed the rest of the day would go by quickly and so would this year.

**Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!**

I walked down the front stairs of the school. I was so happy to be heading home. I didn't want to come back here tomorrow and that was going to be a problem.

"Kendall!" I turned and saw Logan coming toward me quickly. I sighed and kept walking. It was best they didn't spend time with me. My dad ruined my life, I wasn't going to let him ruin my friend's lives. "Kendall, hold up dude!" Logan said, finally catching up to me. I groaned inwardly and then turned toward him.

"What?" I asked, annoyance in my tone. He seemed a bit shocked at my annoyance, but he just brushed it off.

"Um, I wanted to know if you were okay?" Logan asked and I put my head back to face the sky and groaned.

"Yes, okay, I'm fine." I said with a sharp edge to my voice. I turned and began walking again. Logan came up and grabbed my shoulder, making me stop.

"Kendall? What's wrong?" He asked and I scoffed.

"What's wrong? What isn't wrong? This was my first day back to school and everyone has already made my life even more terrible! I didn't want to come to school because of how I was treated over summer! I've lost everything, Logan! My friends all hate me for something that wasn't my fault! I'm too afraid to be on the hockey team! Everyone has been picking on me over what my real dad did! I've never even met the man! It's not fair for them to pin all this on me! I never did anything!" I shouted at Logan, tears of anger in my eyes.

"Kendall, just forget these jerks. James, Carlos and I know they have no reason to do this. We know it's not fair and we're here for you. We understand," He said and I laughed without any real humor.

"Really? You guys understand? You're here for me?" I asked and he nodded his head. "Is that why you guys pretty much avoided me all summer? Is that why you seemed to be in such a hurry to get away when I talked to you this morning? I couldn't get you guys to say two words me until you came over to my locker earlier! What did you guys do? Decide it was unfair to treat me this way so you came back around? Well, if so, I don't want your pity or sympathy! Okay? If you guys don't want to be around, then don't be! But don't you dare pretend that you still care!" I said and then turned away, walking away fast. I had seen the hurt and surprise on Logan's face, but I didn't care. It wasn't fair to any of us if they are just pretending to still care about me. If what my dad did effected the way they see me also, then I wasn't going to force them to pretend for me.

I stormed angerily into the house, slamming the door behind me.

"Kendall? What's wrong?" Katie asked from her place on the black couch in our livingroom.

"Nothing!" I snapped and then stormed up the stairs to my room. I slammed my bedroom door shut also and threw my backpack to the side. It hit the wall with a loud thud. I began pacing around the room. I ran a hand through my hair and felt more tears in my eyes. I had been fighting them since walking away from Logan. I was so angry right now. I heard a knock on the door and I stopped pacing and looked up. The door slowly opened and my mom stuck her head in. She then came in completely, shutting the door behind her.

"Katie said you weren't in a good mood and that you snapped at her." Mom said. I sighed and my hand through my hair again.

"Look, I'll apologize to her later, I just want to be alone right now." I said and she gave me a sad look.

"School wasn't so great?" She asked and I shook my head. I let out a frustrated sigh and then sat down on my bed.

"No, everyone hates me. For the first time ever, I was the one being tortured, not the one stopping it. They wouldn't let up. It was worse than how they were through summer." I just stared at the floor. I was fighting the tears again and I didn't want mom to know I was close to crying. I heard her sigh and then her shoes on the hardwood floor as she walked toward me. She sat down on the bed next to me and wrapped her right arm around me and placed her left arm on my left arm.

"Honey, I know this is hard for you. I hate seeing you go through this, but just remember that this will pass." She said and I looked up, a tear finally escaping.

"But what if it doesn't? What if this is the way my life will be from now on? What if everyone continues to judge me based on what my biological father did? It's not fair mom," I said, sounding more like a five year old rather than a seventeen year old.

"I know, it's not fair how they treat you. You didn't know what he did. You had no part in it. They have no right to treat you this way, Kendall. Do you want me to go talk to the principle?" She asked and I shook my head.

"No, I don't want to start anything," I said and she rubbed my arm.

"I can't promise that everyone will forget this and move on from it; but I can promise that it will get better. No matter how bad things are now, it will get better. People will realize how ridiculous this all is and they'll forget it." She said and I reached up and ran my hand through my hair again. That was a habit I had when I was confused, upset or frustrated. Which I was all three of those things at the moment.

"What about the guys? They of all people should be here and not treating me this way. But they have been avoiding me just as much as everyone else." I said and she gave me a sad look.

"Talk to them. Explain how you feel and let them know that you need them. Kendall, they care more about you than anything. They are your true friends. They don't blame you for this and they never will. Besides, how do you know they actually are avoiding you? Maybe they didn't realize they were doing it." She said and I thought about that. What if they really didn't know they were avoiding me? What if they didn't mean to do it? Man, I feel really guilty for yelling at Logan now.

"Thanks mom, I need to go talk to the guys. Is that alright?" I asked and she nodded her head. I reached over and hugged her and then walked out of the room. My mom followed me out and down the stairs. I walked over to where Katie was sitting on the couch and leaned down, kissing her on top of the head.

"Sorry for snapping at you," I said and she smiled.

"It's fine," she said, reaching her arms toward me. I gave her a hug. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I think I am," I said, pulling away from her. I said bye to her and mom and then walked out the front door. I decided I would go to Carlos' house first since it was the closest. It was still hot out and since I was walking, I began to sweat. I pulled my beanie from my head, smoothing out my blonde hair. I tucked the edge of the beanie into my back pocket so it was halfway hanging out. I finally reached Carlos' house and walked up to the front door. I knocked and then waited. Mrs. Garcia opened the door after a couple seconds.

"Oh, hi Kendall. I wondered when you would show up. The others are already here. They are up in Carlos' room, go on up." She said, leading me into the house. I thanked her and then made my way up the stairs. Carlos, Logan and James' parents still expected me to be around just as much as the others. They were worried when I didn't show up and had even called my mom a couple times through summer to check on me, thinking I was sick. I walked up to Carlos' door which was closed. I knocked on it and waited.

"Come in!" Carlos shouted from the other side after a couple seconds. I opened the door and slowly walked inside. They were all staring at me and I instantly felt the urge to apologize and leave. I didn't want to be around if they didn't want me around. But I needed to at least talk to them.

"Hey Kendall," James said, trying to sound happy but I could tell he was nervous.

"What's up?" Carlos asked, sounding just as happy as ever. With Carlos it was harder to tell when he was faking an emotion, so I wasn't sure if he was actually happy to see me. Logan looked away from me. I wasn't surprised he didn't want to see me. After the way I talked to him earlier, he had every right to turn away from me.

"Logan, I'm really, really sorry for yelling at you. I've just been really stressed lately and I can't handle this all." I said, staring at Logan, hoping he would at least look at me. He never did though.

"I know it's hard Kendall. But you have to realize that we never turned out backs on you. We really do care about what happens to you. We don't want you to get hurt and we hate that everyone is being so cruel to you. I wasn't trying to avoid you and I wasn't trying to upset you. Kendall, I'm sorry for everything." He said and I sighed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. None of you do. It's just that having them be this way with me and then having it seem that you guys are avoiding me... I was wrong and I'm sorry." I said, trailing off for a moment, unsure of what I really wanted to say.

"Kendall, we know you did nothing wrong. We know they are being idiots for treating you this way. You never hurt anyone and we know you never would." Carlos said and I smiled.

"Yeah man, you should have just told us how you felt. We never meant to upset you or hurt you." James said and I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry, I should have just came and talked to you." I said and they nodded.

"It's all good, everything is said and done now." Carlos said, making us all chuckle.

"Not everything," I said, getting them to look at me with confused expressions. "I have still have to go school tomorrow and then day after, and the day after that. This is going to be a long school year." I said and they gave me sad looks.

"It'll be okay. We're here for you dude. We won't let them mess with you. We should have been there for you this past summer and we should have been there more today." James said and I shook my head.

"Don't worry about any of that. It's okay," I said, happy just to know that they really did still care. I was happy to at least still have some friends.

**Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!**

It had been one week since the guys and I made up. They had stuck to their word and they were doing what they could to help me get through this. But there was only so much they could do for me. Shane and his friends hadn't let up any on me. I actually think they got worse. If the first week was this terrible, I can't imagine what was to come. I walked through the doors of the school on Monday morning. I wish the weekend had lasted longer. I honestly never thought I would be wishing for the weekend just so I could get away from everyone. But here I was, wishing that the weekend was here so I could just stay away from everyone in my school.

I made a quick trip to my locker and then straight to class. I used to actually be late for class because of talking with friends, but now I'm the first in the room. I just don't want to deal with the people in the hallways. They had more of a chance to tease me and make my life miserable when walking through the halls. I looked up and saw James walked into the class. My seat was in the front of the classroom and his was in the back. I wish we had closer seats so I actually had someone near me who likes me still. But I guess we'll just have to deal with this.

I pulled out my sketchpad and began drawing in it as other came into the classroom. I was drawing a picture of a sword and shield, keeping myself too busy to pay attention to anyone else. Then my book was yanked away from me.

"Hey!" I said, looking up and seeing Shane.

"Is this how you plan to kill people? With a sword?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

"I'm not going to kill anyone!" I said, grabbing at my book, only to have them keep it from me. "Just give it here and leave me alone!" I said, trying to grab it again. I was really starting to get frustrated now. I kept reaching for it, but they kept it from me. I hated that they were being so childish right now.

"Look at this! This one is a drawing of a gun!" Eli shouted, showing everyone the picture I had drawn awhile back.

"Maybe you need some help, Kendall. Drawing pictures of knives, swords, guns and the rest of this junk isn't a good sign. What do you think of as you draw these? Do you think of how it would be to use this stuff on others?" Shane asked, taking the book from Eli and looking through it. I felt so angry right now. I was so done with them. I stood up and grabbed at my book again.

"Give it back!" I yelled and they didn't. Shane shoved me and I instantly came back, punching him in the face.

"Kendall Knight!" Mrs. Darr yelled, I looked up and saw her coming into the room. I looked over and saw Shane holding his nose. "Principle's office. Now." She said, crossing her arms.

"But they started it! They took my bo-" I tried to explain but she cut me off.

"I don't care what they did. This school has no tolerance for violence. Now, go to the principle's office." She said, I just stared at her. I couldn't believe this. So what I hit him, he had it coming to him from the beginning of summer. I grabbed my stuff, yanking my sketch book from Shane and walking out of the room. I made my way down to the principle's office.

**Skip Ahead A Bit:**

I had been sitting across from the principle for a little while now. He had called my mom to come and talk. I hated that I had done this, but I didn't start it.

"It's not my fault," I said and Mr. Torrap sighed and crossed his hands on his desk.

"How is it not your fault that you punched Shane?" He asked and I groaned.

"I told you, they took my sketch book and were picking on me for my drawings. He shoved me when I reached for it and then I reacted. Mr. Torrap, they have been messing with me all summer, I just got tired of it." I said and he gave me a sympathetic look. Mr. Torrap had heard about my dad, no doubt.

"I know this is hard on you Kendall, but you can't punch people. You have detention saturday for punching him. I'll deal with Shane later, don't worry. But, I still need to talk to your mom, okay?" He said and I nodded. I hated that I had to get detention. I had never had detention before. I had to pretty much be the perfect student in order to play hockey. And hockey has always been my life, but I guess it doesn't matter since I can't play hockey anyway. Before too much longer, my mom came into the office.

"Hello Mrs. Knight, I hate that I had to call you here for the first time because of Kendall being in trouble." He said and I hung my head. _As if I don't feel bad enough, now you have to play the major disappointment card?_ I thought, not looking up at either of them. I listened as Mr. Torrap talked to mom about what happened and what would be done about it.

**Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!**

It was saturday and I was walking home from having to do detention. I hated it! I didn't belong there! The only good thing was that there was no talking or anything, so even though Shane was in the same room (along with his idiot friends), I was able to sit there and work on the homework I had for the weekend. I had waited until I was sure Shane and them were gone before I left the school. The last thing I needed was to be jumped outside the school.

I didn't understand why everyone had turned their backs on me because of something I had no control over. I wasn't there when my dad did any of that. It's not like I helped him! How is _**any **_of this my fault? Why are they making it my fault? It's not like them beating me is going to pay back what my dad did. They should go to Kentucky, find him and try to beat him up, not me. I can't do anything about it. Just because I'm blood related to a killer, I guess they figure it's close enough to the real killer.

"Hey!" I heard someone yell. I turned around and saw Shane and Eli walking toward me. The other two that were usually with them were nowhere to be seen.

"What?" I asked in a bitter tone.

"We just heard some interesting details of what your dad did. Did you know that how he killed that girl was from beating her to death?" Shane asked, stopping infront of me. I shook my head no. "Yeah, we learned that if you know what to look up, you can read all the newspaper articals wrote about your dad. It was said that they girl had been beat to death. And your dad confirmed that. They said he must have known there was no point in hiding or lying because he admitted to everything. He admitted that he beat that girl to death with his own hands." Shane said and I was shocked. I hadn't known about that. I guess my aunt figured learning the basics of what happened was enough.

"I hadn't been told that," I said and they both smirked.

"Why don't I believe you? I honestly think you have the same thoughts he has. The thoughts of a killer. We don't need your kind here," Shane said, taking a step toward me. I took a step back, wanting to get away from them. They both came forward, grabbing me. I fought and tried to scream only to have Eli cover my mouth. They dragged me to a secluded area behind an old, abandoned house. Shane shoved me up against the side of a shed behind the house.

"I think we need to show you how they feel. How that girl must have felt. If we teach you a lesson now, maybe we won't start finding bodies in the near future." Shane said, getting right in my face. I was terrified right now. They weren't really going to beat me to death were they? They couldn't. Even they should know that they go to jail when it's discovered. No matter what anyone thinks, I shouldn't die for what my dad did. It wasn't my fault.

Shane delivered the first punch to my stomach, making me double over when he let go of me. He punched me again in the stomach and then Eli joined in. They both began hitting me everywhere. I tried to defend myself, but there wasn't much I could do. I was praying for God to save me. I was praying someone would come around and help me. I'm not supposed to die. Not now. Not for something I had nothing to do with. But, they definitly weren't letting up on me. Shane shoved me to the ground and they began kicking me. I had my knees up to my chest and my arms over my head. There wasn't anything I could do.

"Hey! What's going on back there?" I heard a man's voice say. I didn't know who it was though. I had my eyes squeezed shut tight. They stopped kicking me at least. I then heard them running and someone coming toward me. "Can you hear me?" The person asked. I just stayed still. I was trying to fight off the strong pain that was all over my body. I finally nodded my head.

"Can you get up? Or do I need to call for an ambulance?" I waited a moment before opening my eyes and seeing a police officer kneeling beside me.

"I-I think I ca-can get u-up." I said, moving to sit up. It hurt like you wouldn't belive, but I managed to sit up. He stood up and helped me get up. It was a painful and slow process, but I was finally standing on my own feet.

"We need to get you to the hospital," he said, helping to the front of the house. There was a police cruiser parked on the curb infront of the house. He lead me over to it and I got in the passenger seat of the car. He walked around and got into the driver's seat and then made his way toward the hospital. I decided to call my mom, but the I realized that my bag had been left by the shed.

"My ph-phone was in my bag. Do you h-have a way for m-me to call my m-mom?" I asked, stuttering from the intense pain I felt. He nodded and grabbed his cell phone.

_"Hello?"_ My mom's voice asked. I was glad she was still home.

"Mom, I need you to come to the hospital." I said, hissing from pain since I tried to move.

_"The hospital? Kendall, what happened?" _

"I'll explain later. Just please come," I said, knowing I would feel better having my mom around. I may be a seventeen year old, but having my mom around made things better.

_"Of course I'll come! I'm heading out now."_ She said and I thanked her and then we said bye to each other. I hung up the phone and handed it back to the officer.

"What happened?" He asked and I looked over at him.

"They were just some jerks from my school," I said and he sighed.

"I need the full story," he said. I sighed and then proceeded to tell him the full story of what happened. All the way from why they started bullying me, to what just happened. By the time I was done, we were at the hospital.

"Okay, we'll take of this." He said before walking away and getting a nurse to come get me. She took my back and had me sit on the bed in a curtained off area. I sat there and waited for either my mom or a doctor or a nurse to walk in. After some time, a doctor finally came in, followed by my mother shortly after. The doctor asked me what happened and I explained everything to him. He asked me to strip my clothes off so he could check the wounds.

"Well, you don't have any broken bones luckily. You have a lot of bad bruising, but that will go away on it's own. You'll be in some pain for quite some time. I'll prescribe you some painkillers." The doctor said after he was done checking my body. "You can go ahead and get dressed. I would like to do some X-rays to check and make sure nothing is damaged." He said and I nodded. I was happy to get dressed. I was just standing in my boxers which made me a little uncomfortable.

After I was dressed, the doctor lead me down to the room where they do X-rays. He told me what to do and he took the X-rays. He then put them on the board and turned the light on, looking over them.

"You are one lucky kid, Kendall. Nothing is damaged, nothing is broken. Due to all the bruising and how you explained what they did, I'm surprised by this." He said and I nodded. I didn't feel too lucky, but I guess I am. The doctor and my mom talked a little more and then he let us go. I had tuned my mom out as we drove home. I didn't want to listen to her ranting over this.

**Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!**

It had been two weeks since Shane and Eli had beat me up. They got into trouble, but not much. Since they didn't really do any damage to me other than the bruising, they didn't get into much trouble. I had mostly avoided them, staying as far as I could. I also didn't like being alone, I tried to stay close to someone when walking. Even if that person didn't like me, I felt safer not being alone. I also don't walk home alone anymore. I walk with the guys or my mom comes and picks me up.

Nothing had changed and nothing was going to change. I was still being treated the same way. Only it had gotten a little worse since Shane and Eli told everyone what they had read on some website. It was different articals surrounding my dad. I had gotten on the website myself and found that everything they said was true. Everything my dad did was terrible. I couldn't believe this was the man who I would have called dad had I not been given for adoption. I still say he's my dad, even though I don't consider him that. I wasn't sure why though. I should just call him Brian. That was his first name. I didn't consider him my dad, so why should I call him dad?

The man who was my dad was named Keith Knight. He may not had been the best dad to me, but at least he was a dad. He still cared about me, that was clear. And even if he never treated me as good as he treated Katie or he never actually treated me like how a dad would treat their son, he still cared. He had a hard time bonding with me since I wasn't his real kid. He was just a bit messed up and confused now, so even Katie doesn't hear from him. But we know he still cares. He's still there for us.

I knew that over time, this would hopefully die down. Maybe people really will learn that they are being ridiculous and that I did nothing wrong. Then maybe they be mad at Shane and Eli, not me. I just want people to know that it's not my fault.

**So, like I said, everything in this story actually happened to me. And I want to make this clear right now, I did NOT have Ireland write this story so I could get attention. I had her write this story for bullying awareness. I wanted/want to share my story to encourage other bully victims. I want you guys to know that you ARE worth something, you may not feel like it because of your situation, believe I know, but you are worth more than anything! I hate seeing bully victims give into the bullying and believe what they're being told. Reach out! Talk to someone! Leave the situation! I know that's easier said than done, I really do. But you need to put yourself first when you get into this kind of situation. You need to step up and decide that if no one else is going to help you, then you'll help yourself. Bullying is never okay and suicide is never the answer. I know how hard it is to get out of that dark place, but please remember that you're not replaceable. There's only one YOU and the world has lost something great if you're gone.**

**And I want you to know that I would NEVER rape or kill a girl! I wouldn't even hold a girl's hand unless she wanted me to do it. I know Ireland said this in her A/N but I want you to know it's true. I respect girls. I would also never hurt a kid like my brother, Joey. I have since been to his grave and my birth mom did pass away shortly after I got to meet her. She cried so much when I walked into the room and told her who I was. She held her arms out and when I hugged her, I thought she wasn't going to let go. We talked for hours, going over everything. She told me she never wanted to give me up but her and my dad couldn't keep me. She wanted me to know there wasn't anything wrong with me and she wanted to make sure I didn't have hard feelings about the fact she kept Joey. She was doing better in her living situation aside from my dad and she was able to keep him. I have NOT met my dad and I refuse to go see him. **

**"You may know the summary of someone's life problems, but you don't know the story. Don't try to tell someone else's story without getting all the facts first. You wouldn't tell someone the story of Romeo and Juliet without reading the book first, would you?"- Myself, Luke, for an anti-bullying artical I wrote. **


	2. Break The Glass

**Okay, so this part takes place a little after the first part. I had oringinally worked with Ireland to write this part to let everyone know what had been going on since the first part. I wasn't looking for attention, but I wanted to let everyone be able to follow me through this and to possibly be an inspiration to someone dealing with the same thing. Now, I just want to say that while Kendall has Logan, Carlos and James, in real life, at this point anyway, I had two friends (not including Ireland). One of them turned on me for some reason shortly after Ireland posted this part. I don't know why he did, but he just started avoiding me. So then I was left with one friend in my actual town and Ireland. **

**The character Layden Nolver belongs to Ireland Maslow. It's supposed to be her and the conversation Layden and Kendall have in this chapter is an actual conversation Ireland and I took from our FB messages. We did talk more later that night, but we decided to leave that out of the story. It was a much darker conversation. **

**Kendall's POV:**

"Hey, you know what, I honestly think you should have been the one to be killed." Shane told me as he bumped into me. I continued staring at the floor, trying to ignore him. Shane and his friends kept walking as they laughed. I waited until they got a little way from me and then I began walking again. I had been bullied for the past eight months or so and I was hating it! My mom tried to tell me that things will get better, but so far, they've only gotten worse. I'm so tired of how things have gotten so out of hand. I had been beat up three times since school started and I've been in the hospital once from the last beating I took. I was only in the hospital for three days, but still, they put me there. And then they didn't even get in trouble for it! There was no solid evidence that they were the one's who did that to me, so the police couldn't do anything. And since they had been bullying me for awhile, they couldn't go by what I, my family or friends said about them. It was so unfair!

I was just ready for this day and school year to be over with already. I was happy that James, Carlos and Logan were still by my side, but it didn't help me much. They had their own stuff going on and I hated having them stick up for me. So, I made it clear that I didn't want them doing anything. I could take care of myself. I knew they didn't like that, but they agreed to let me handle it. I walked into my last class of the day, science. I walked over and took my seat at one of the tables toward the middle of the room. I sat down and stared out the window. It was pouring rain outside, so I just watched the water fall down the window. I looked over when I noticed someone had sat down beside me. It was James. I had this class with James and Carlos, and one of them always tried to sit next to me to keep everyone else from sitting next to me.

"Hey, what's up?" James asked and I shrugged.

"The same as always," I said and he nodded. "I'm just ready to get out of here and go home." I said and he chuckled.

"Aren't we all?" He asked and I laughed along with him. It was nice to still have friends through all this and it was even better to have my family. We looked up as the teacher started class, but I wasn't paying too much attention. I kept looking over at the clock, hoping it would speed up and I could go home. I opened my notebook and began doodling some. I had stopped with my art work of guns, knives and swords ever since the incident with them teasing me about those types of drawings.

"Mr. Knight, please pay attention." Mr. Keiser told me, I looked up and saw him and the rest of the classroom staring at me.

"Sorry Sir," I said and he nodded. He went back to what he was talking about and writing a few things down on the board. I leaned forward and crossed my arms on the table and stared forward, though I wasn't paying that much attention. I never did anymore. As soon as Mr. Keiser turned around to write on the chalk board, I felt something hit me in the back of the head. I turned and looked and saw an eraser laying on the floor. I rolled my eyes and turned my head back to look at the teacher. I felt another one hit my head and I felt my blood start to boil. I felt something else hit my head, and another, and another. I finally snapped and jumped up from my seat. I started collecting my stuff.

"Kendall, what are you doing? Sit down." Mr. Keiser told me in his authoritive tone. I didn't listen. I threw the strap over my shoulder and started toward the door. "If you leave, you'll have detention this saturday." Mr. Keiser threatened.

"Why would I care? Go ahead, give me one! I don't care! I'm outta here!" I said and then walked out the door, slamming it behind me. I knew my mom would be disappointed with me because of this, but I didn't really care. I wasn't going to put up with those jerks throwing things at me through class and get away with it. I swear my teachers are on their side. They never see what they do to me and even when they do, they never do anything about it. Shane and the rest just get warning to stop, they've never been in trouble for treating me this way. It's stupid! I'm tired of it! I stormed down the hallway to the front doors of the school. I made my way quickly out of the building and down the front steps. I knew my mom would be home since she had today off, but I didn't care. I just wanted out of here. Out of this school, out of this town, out of this life!

I made it to my car and I got in and started it up. I tore out of the parking-lot a little faster than I should have, but I didn't care. I started down the road, driving faster than I normally would, but still a speed that wouldn't get me pulled over. I got home pretty quickly and I got out of my car. I started toward the house and up the stairs. I knew the door wasn't locked since mom was home, so I just opened the door and walked inside, slamming it behind me. My mom came hurriedly from the kitchen and seemed shocked to see me.

"Honey, what are you doing home? You shouldn't be home for another forty-five minutes or so." She said, I didn't even answer, I just stormed up the stairs, ignoring her questions as I went. I got to my room and walked inside. I slammed that door too. I threw my backpack at the wall, it made a loud thud as it hit. I walked over and fell down on the bed on my stomach and just laid there. My phone started buzzing in my pocket, but I just ignored it. James had been texting me since I left the school. I knew he would be asking me what was wrong and if I was okay. Maybe he seen the stuff on the floor and figured it out? I don't know, but I wasn't going to respond to his texts. And I knew he would probably call as soon as he got out of class, but I didn't want to talk about it.

I heard my door open, but I didn't even look over at my mom. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I felt the bed dip a little and then a hand on my back, rubbing circles.

"Sweetie, what happened?" Mom asked, I didn't want to talk about it, but in a way, I kind of did. I had pretty much told my mom everything that had happened since they started bullying me, and it made me feel better usually to talk about it. I have definitly grown closer to my mom over the past few months. I finally groaned and sat up beside her.

"I got up in the middle of class and left, which got me a saturday detention. But I couldn't take it anymore! They were throwing things at the back of my head and I just snapped! I knew the teacher wouldn't do anything because none of the teachers in that stupid school care what happens to me! I swear they hate me as much as the students! Honestly, I'm starting to believe this entire town hates me! It's not fair! I never did anything wrong!" I said, not being able to stop tears from filling my eyes. I was so overwhelmed with emotion, and I have been for the last eight months!

"Kendall, you know that Carlos, Logan and James and their families would never think bad of you. There are plenty of people who know you didn't do anything wrong. Do you want me to go down and talk to the principal about this detention? And what happened in class?" She asked and I sighed.

"No, it won't help anyway. I got a warning. Mr. Keiser told me that if I walked out the door, I would have detention saturday. So, I was warned, I highly doubt I can get out of this." I said and she wrapped her arms around me to pull me close to her. I rested my head on her shoulder as she rubbed up and down my arm.

"Honey, I know things are hard, but if we don't act on them now, they'll just get worse. I'm just going to go down and talk to the principal about all of this and figure out what can be done from there. I'm so sick and tired of seeing you come home like this. All upset and hurting." She said and I stayed quiet. I enjoyed having my mom hold me. I didn't care what people may say about me wanting to be in my mom's arms, it makes me feel better. My mom brought one of her hands up to push my hair out of my face. She kept rubbing her hand from forehead to over my head. She stopped, holding my hair back away from my forehead and kissed me on the forehead.

"You know I love you, right? And no matter what, I'll always love you." Mom said after she pulled away from me.

"I know, I love you too." I said and she rested her head on top of mine. We just sat there for awhile like this. I felt better now that I had her holding me. I had always been a 'momma's boy', as people would call me. But I didn't care. My mom gave me another kiss on my head and then pulled away from me.

"I'm going to go make you some chocolate chip cookies to make you feel better. Do you want to come to the kitchen with me?" She asked and I shook my head no.

"I'm just gonna stay here and relax." I said and she nodded with a small smile.

"Okay, I'm right downstairs if you need me." She said as she stood up. She walked out of the room, quietly closing the door. I had thought mom would had been upset about the detention. Especially since I had been warned to sit back down. I was just glad she didn't get really upset or anything. That's the last thing I want to deal with at this time. I groaned when I heard my phone began to buzz. I pulled my phone out and I had five texts from James already and knew more would come. I decided just to turn my phone off for right now and call him later. After my phone was off, I laid it on the night stand. I sat back down on my bed and put my head in my hands. I hated that my eyes were filling with tears again. I refused to let a single tear fall. If I cried, I cried for something important. Not for jerks.

I finally decided to get on the internet and see what was going on. I walked over and sat in my desk chair and turned the computer on. Once it was started up and ready, I got on the internet. I instantly went to My Book**(1)** to see what everyone was up to. I had really cleaned out my friends on here since everything started. I now have a few friends and then my family. My family made up most of my friends though. Since all this, I had lost a lot of friends. Some friends I have, I haven't even met in person. But they are nicer to me than those I know in person. After checking my notifications, I looked to see who was on. I saw that I had a message and it was from Layden. I had never met her in real life, but she had become one of my close friends over the internet. She is a friend of James'. She lives near his aunt in Alabama and we met through Carlos because he had us befriend each other on here. I opened the message to see what she had said.

_**Layden Nolver: **_**Hey, what's up?**

_**Kendall Knight:**_** Everything. I'm so done with my stupid school!**

_**Layden Nolver: **_**:( I'm sorry. What happened?**

_**Kendall Knight:**_** They were throwing things at me and I knew the teacher wouldn't do anything about it. I got up and walked out of the classroom and now have detention saturday.**

_**Layden Nolver:**_** I wish they wouldn't be like that. You don't deserve to be treated that way! It's ridiculous and stupid!**

_**Kendall Knight:**_** I know! I'm so ready to be out of this school, town and possibly life!**

_**Layden Nolver: **_**Do not think like that! I understand wanting to be out of that school, but your friends are in that town. And I don't ever want you to even think about suicide! That's not the way to deal with any of this!**

_**Kendall Knight:**_** I know, but it probably would make everyone happier if I was just gone...**

_**Layden Nolver:**_** That is not true! Think about your mom, think about Katie, think about Logan, Carlos and James! Think about me, and the rest of your friends and family. **

_**Kendall Knight:**_** I don't think I could do that to any of you. I promise that you all are the only things keeping me here at this point.**

_**Layden Nolver:**_** That's good. All I can tell you at this point is to keep praying and keep your head up.**

_**Kendall Knight:**_** Thanks, I'm trying to do both...**

_**Layden Nolver:**_** Hey, I'm really sorry to cut this short, but mom wants me to get off here :\ **

_**Kendall Knight:**_** It's okay, I need to get off also.**

_**Layden Nolver: **_**I'm still praying for you. Love you :)**

_**Kendall Knight:**_** Thanks, love you too :)**

After I sent it, I signed out of my acount and then turned the computer off. I got up and pushed my chair back up to the desk and made my way toward the door. As I walked down the stairs, I heard talking and instantly recongized it as James'. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, James was standing in the livingroom talking to my mom.

"He's right upstairs, just let me get-" she cut herself off when she saw me standing on the third step of the stairs.

"Hey James," I said and he nodded at me. He had a worried look on his face.

"I'll just leave you two to talk." Mom said and we both nodded. She walked back into the kitchen and I looked at James.

"Dude, what happened back there?" He asked and I sighed. I walked over and sat down on the couch and he sat beside me.

"I got mad," I said simply and he nodded.

"Yeah, I got that, but why?" He asked and I let out a groan.

"They were throwing things at me, I got mad, and left." I said in an aggravated tone. I was getting tired of having to repeat this. James was about to say something, but I cut him off. "I don't care, what they did. I don't want to think about it anymore and I certainly don't want to talk about it anymore." I said in a bit of hateful tone. I didn't mean to be hateful toward him, but I was just fed up with everything. James seemed a little shocked at the tone I used toward him.

"Sorry," James said in a calm, but kind of surprised and maybe even hurt tone. I looked over at him and sighed again.

"No, I'm sorry. It's just, all of this has become too stressful. I'm so tired of it! I never did anything to any of them!" I said and he gave me a sympathetic look.

"I know, but things will get better. Just keep trusting that God will bring you out of this." James told me and I sighed.

"I try to trust he will, but I'm beginning to think he's not there anymore." I told him as I leaned forward and put my head in my hands.

"He's still there, no matter how it feels. This is just another part of his plan. He's making you stronger through this." I looked over at James and nodded a little.

"Thanks James," I said and he smiled a little.

"No problem," he said.

"You wanna come upstairs and play some video games?" I asked and he laughed a little.

"Sure," he said, we then made our way to my bedroom, but my mom stopped us.

"Hey, I made you guys some cookies. Here, you can take them to your room." She said, handing me a plate of cookies. We thanked her and then made our way up the stairs.

**The Next Day:**

This day had just been terrible so far. I was sitting in the cafeteria with James, Carlos and Logan at one of the tables. No one had left me alone all day. Even people who normally just avoid me had started to say things or even do things. I was getting really tired of it. What had I done that made them hate me so much? I used to be friends with almost everyone in this school, now I have three. Everyone else hates me for something I had no control over! It's stupid and ridiculous! Just like them!

"Dude, what's wrong?" Carlos asked me. I looked down and noticed how hard I was holding my fork. I dropped it and it fell to my tray.

"What do you think is wrong? Everything! I just want to go home! I didn't even want to come today, but mom wouldn't let me stay home. I'm just glad it's friday." I said and then stared down at my tray. I shoved it away from me angerly and leaned back in my chair with my arms crossed. Logan, Carlos and James all looked at each other and then back at me. I sighed and got up and quickly made my way from the cafeteria. I walked to the bathroom and went inside. I leaned against the counter, closing my eyes. I was trying to calm myself down. I heard the bathroom door open, but I didn't look up. I didn't care who it was anymore. I heard snickering and then footsteps coming toward me.

"Look who we have here," I heard Shane's voice say.

"Just leave me alone." I said, knowing he wouldn't. I was suddenly pushed sideways, but I still wouldn't look at him.

"What are you going to do about it?" He asked, pushing me back some more.

"Stop it." I said firmly. I had promised my mom I wouldn't do anything bad or wrong. Which meant I couldn't hit him.

"Make me," Shane said. I was honestly ready to make him stop, to show him what I would do about it. But I knew it was wrong to do that because of the promise I made to my mom. Also, I have always been a strong believer in the 'turn the other cheek' rule from the Bible. Although, I will admit that I hadn't practiced that rule very well. Suddenly Shane swung his fist at me and got me right in the eye. I quickly put my hand over my eye.

"Do something about it." Shane told me, he wanted a fight, but I didn't want to give it to him. He swung again and hit me in the cheek. I came back and shoved him harshly backward. He stumbled back and fell on his butt on the floor. I made my way quickly past him and out of the bathroom. Lunch was almost over, but I didn't have any plans of going to class. I was leaving. I was done with this stupid place and these stupid people. And to think, at one point I actually respected the people in this school. I considered them my friends. I liked them. Now I have no respect for them, I know they aren't my friends and I don't like them. I went to my locker and got my stuff to take home and then left the building.

After I got home, I walked up the front stairs and unlocked the front door. Mom was at work, so she wouldn't be here. Of course she would be getting off work in about thirty-five minutes, but I don't really care right now. After I got inside, I threw my bag down and began pacing the livingroom in an aggravated way. I didn't want to look and see how bad my eye and cheek were. It would just make me even more angry and I didn't need that right now. I knew when my mom got home she would freak, but I didn't care anymore. As I paced, I was fighting the tears that wanted to fall. I refuse to cry though. Ever since I was younger I had always refused to cry unless it was something really worth the tears.

A little while later, the door opened and my mom walked inside. She seemed shocked to see me home at such an early hour. She seemed even more shocked to see my eye and cheek. They must have been pretty bad. I knew they hurt pretty bad.

"Kendall! What happened?" She asked and I shook my head.

"That jerk Shane is what happened! Mom, I'm sorry, but I hate him. I can't stand it anymore!" I said, a single tear slipping out of my eye. I looked off to the side, hating that my mom had to see me this way. My mom came toward me and pulled me into her arms.

"I can't believe this. Where did this happen at?" She asked once she pulled away.

"In the bathroom during lunch." I said and she had an angry look on her face.

"Come on, we're going down to that school and I'm talking to your principal about this." She said as she walked toward the door. I was so fed up that doing this actually sounded like a good idea. I followed her out the door and she locked it behind us. We got in her car and made our way to the school. We pulled into the parking-lot and got out. My mom opened the door and I followed her inside. I could tell my mom was beyond angry right now. It was inbetween classes, so the hallways were full as everyone made their way to their lockers. I kept my head down as we walked through the hallway. I heard people whispering about me, people were staring, and even some were laughing at me. Including Shane and Eli. I was beginning to think this wasn't a good idea.

**Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!**

"My son was just assaulted in the bathroom and you don't even care! You could at least question Shane! You don't care what happens in this school! I swear it seems more that you support the bullying! What kind of school is this?" I heard my mom yell. She had been in the pricinpal's office for awhile now and she had been yelling for the last five minutes. I was sitting on the bench outside of his office, listening to them yell. My mom had me go in with her to show the principal my bruises, but it got us nowhere. All he did was ask if I had proof that Shane had done this to me. When I said no, he told me there wasn't anything he could do and that he was sorry this had happened. He then expected us to leave. Which didn't go over well with mom.

Suddenly the door opened and my mom stormed out.

"Come on Kendall," she said and I stood up. We walked in silence back to the car. There wasn't much I could really say or do at this point. We got in the car and my mom started it up. We made our way home, still in silence. I stared out the window as we drove.

"I'm sorry," I said, I wasn't sure why, but I felt I needed to say that.

"No, don't you dare apologize for anything Kendall. I don't care what it takes, as soon as I can, I'm transferring you to another school. This is getting out of hand and ridiculous. That principal is way out of line with this. He had no right to just dismiss this like it doesn't matter. And those kids getting away with this makes them think they'll always be able to get away with it. That school is going nowhere having students like them and a principal like him." She said and I had to agree.

"I'm sick of all of this, mom. I'm ready for it to be over." I said in a quiet voice after mom parked the car in the driveway. My mom turned toward me and placed a hand on my knee.

"I know honey, I'm ready for it to be over too. And I promise you that I'll do everything I can to make it better. We'll look into other local schools and figure something out." She said and I stared down at my lap.

"I've been thinking about that for awhile now. Leaving the school, I mean. And I think I've figured out what I would like to do." I told her.

"What's that?" She asked and I stayed quiet for a moment longer.

"I think I would like to try homeschooling." I said and she nodded a little.

"We can look into it. But, since I work all the time, I won't be able to teach you." She said and I looked up at her.

"Well, I talked to Layden about homeschooling awhile back and she told me that it's pretty easy to homeschool yourself. And that the work books explain things pretty easily, so unless I get stuck, I won't really need you to do much. You'll have to grade my papers probably. Unless we go through certain programs where you have to send your papers in to be graded." I told her and she nodded.

"You have given this some thought, haven't you?" She asked and I nodded. "Okay, we'll look into it. Do you want to go ahead and leave school now? Or do you want to wait?" She asked and I thought about it for a minute.

"I want out of that place as soon as possible. So, if I can, I would like to leave school and start homeschooling." I said and she nodded.

"If that's what you want to do, then that's what we'll do." She said and I smiled.

"Thanks mom, I love you." I said leaning over to hug her. She hugged me back.

"I love you too, sweetie." She said. I was just happy to be getting out of there. And it's not like I'm leaving friends behind. Logan, Carlos and James live near by, so I can see them whenever. This will probably be the best thing for me at this point.

**As with the first part, everything with Kendall actually happened to me. Since Ireland posted this part to the story things have gotten better. I don't want to go into too much detail right now, but I did move to another state, my mom, sister and I now live with my mom's brother, his wife and their four kids. So I'm surrounded by more family. I started homeschooling this past Monday. My mom and I had a long talk about me going to the high school in my uncle's town, but I didn't feel safe about it. All the bullying really took a toll on my life. People don't realize the lasting effects of what they do. I have made some new friends in my new town. It was hard to make them though because I was worried about them turning on me. I still get nervous when I'm in a large group and almost had a panic attack this past summer when I was with my new friends. Bullying effects people in more ways they you can imagine. I've tried to be strong and I did make it through everything, but that doesn't take the fear away. It doesn't take the worry that someone else is going to hurt you the way people in your past did. So, that's why I went ahead and just decided to go through with homeschooling. My life is slowly getting better and I have learned that the new friends I have are incredible people. And obviously Ireland Maslow is an amazing friend too. We're still very close and I consider her my absolute best friend, even if we've never met face-to-face. Anyway, Ireland and I are working on another part to this story to let you guys know exactly what's been going on. So you'll get the full story of the panic attack and such when we get that done. **


End file.
